Is it the security that you get when you're with that person? It was like a little something in me would slowly die with out either one. But let's imagine that this doesn't happen; that is, you manage to engage in the new relationship without neglecting your partner in terms of presence say, by corresponding with your secret someone by email at work. Come clean and unashamed and accept the consequences of your choices good or bad yes there are good consequences. I can't stand to even think about him being with her for one second. If you happened to be sure about your sexual identity from the moment you were born, then good for you. I could have never married him then because he wanted someone to follow him and I wanted to do my own things. They suggested we all three go away on a two-week beach holiday together, in a Volkswagen Camper, during the hottest summer weather for years.
Thinking about both at the same time can get too complicated and really cloud your emotions. Can you really be in love with two people at the same time? The 2 men are polar opposites in literally every way. But this is just me. Empirical evidence clearly suggests that humans are capable of loving and having with more than one person at the same time. I sometimes feel bad, because I wouldn't want to be on the other end of this all. I miss my love but I miss myself and my happiness.
But also I know and I have tried to live with out my greatest love and I know I can't either. Then someone new comes into your life. In comments on my various posts on adultery, as well as in recent conversations with both new and old, the topic of loving two people romantically came up rather often. That your heart and mind dictates you they both are important to you. If you're traditionally only able to love one person at a time, you may be falling out of love with your current partner.
If this is the case, monogamy may not be in your best interest. I truly believe it is possible to love two people at the same time! I love him to bits. People often get the 2 confused. I lost him and my support system to move on. But I feel guilty that I am not being 100% honest with them. This sounds about as silly as a straight person wondering if gay people actually exist, and then quoting skeptical scholars about it! Perhaps I knew all along what I was doing was wrong, but it just seemed to creep up on me and before I knew it I was in love with two people.
You can, however, control your reactions to these feelings. A female reader, anonymous, writes 21 September 2010 : I do understand your present situation. One of his daughters embraced me like family and it just feels right. So yes I believe people can love 2 people at the same time. You are emotionally attached to one and physically attached to the other.
A male reader, anonymous, writes 21 October 2010 : Interesting concept, especially as we actually descend from polygamous society yes we do. I live down the street. But yet i still long for the love i had with him, my ex. I know that if I was in a relationship where the man told me he had feelings for someone else, then they would never see me again. With this situation there are awful days but then there are blindingly bright days are there not? We laughed and talked and looked at each other like each of us had just found the answer to everything. I believe that we've been walking through lives together many times,but each time,he would go help others,he would heal with the best intentions and that would leave us from being together.
Look into any differences between how you love each person. Yes, that's another complication - my other relationship was with a woman! If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see. Every day I try to behave probably like a lot of people in a way that is regarded as socially acceptable. I just turned 68 people think I´m 52 and my two lovers are 72 and 78 both look and act younger than their years. If you find one person influences your personality more, that person may be right for you. It does not mean you don't love the one you're with, it just means you are truly alive.
And, here's what can happen if. A female reader, anonymous, writes 7 July 2010 : Well, i think that there is a time when we are all put into this situation at some point. If you are polyamorous, you should feel comfortable exploring your feelings on the subject without feeling guilt. I think I need some help working through this. The good thing is that taking this approach provides space for healthy decision making. It doesn't bring you much closer to an answer on what to do, but reading so many echos of your own thoughts makes you feel better. Big house, two cars, lovely holidays and trying to start a family.
I never overweight my hubby over the other. Most of the time, you can have a few fantasies and faps about that person and it will naturally diffuse over time. . And the love you can give and receive will be lukewarm at best. And I don't want to hurt the people I love. The feelings for him just came back immediately.