Why should the circumference of my thigh make me any more or less fuckable? Now that we got that way-too-technical disclaimer out of the way. Women often suffer because of the strident ideals we put on human bodies, but men suffer because of it too. Here's what they had to say: Why don't you date fat women? It literally makes no sense. . Many years before I got together with my boyfriend, I had a sex thing with this guy that I thought was relationship-material. I am a fat woman. I thought about the fat men I know who, hearing something like this, might get a case of the hurt feelings.
And, just to be clear, the views of these men are not my views — or necessarily the views of YourTango. I've always wanted to know what goes on inside who refuse to date a woman just because she is fat. When I realized that he was ashamed of being seen with me, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach — a place where much of my pain already resided. That said, it's hard to be objective when someone is explaining why you don't With that in mind, I asked a group of anonymous men who refuse to date fat women to try and explain their feelings to me. To him, I was fuckable, but not dateable, and he dumped me soon after that conversation. I like to share this information often quite loudly because we live in an age where men and women's bodies aren't allowed a lot of freedom.
I know firsthand how being fat wreaks havoc on your self-esteem and social presence. Sex is always more wild. But when I tried to get him to go to a show or out to dinner with me, he refused. If I was still his secret shame, I might not have met my boyfriend, so thanks, athletic-asshole. In our culture, people are taught, unfortunately, that being fat is bad. For the most part, unless your body is thin or slender, you're considered , you're considered not worthy of love. Also women, all shapes, all sizes.
No one wants to be on the Try It Once list. Mind and body are not two separate entities; they are linked. If she can't be bothered to exercise for thirty minutes, that to me is a sign of true laziness. I knew that there was science to support the fact that, but I wanted to hear from the other side. Fat women are just as hot and sexually gifted as women of other shapes, sizes, and abilities. On the one hand, as a sex writer, I understand that , so I wanted to keep an open mind.
When we were teenagers he was really thin, and he has put on a lot of weight as an adult, and I have always found him sexy. I am friends with other None of us have a hard time getting dates, , or sex, whatever it is we happen to be looking for. I would also be concerned about having a partner putting herself at risk for a variety of weight-related complications, especially in the long-term. Fat women don't lead healthy lives. I guarantee you that once you've read their answers the same way again. Between having mind-blowing sex, we ordered in, played video games, and watched movies, couple-y type things but without the label. The things that made the sex great had nothing to do with his size and everything to do with our personal connection.
It isn't bad at all. It's never easy to be rejected for any reason, but fat women get used to it in t sadly because it seems to be more socially acceptable to express disgust with fat than it is express other complaints about a person's physical appearance. I mean, I love with thin men, too. Her words resonated with them, and they all shared the same truth. We all know really, if we think about it that this way of thinking is beyond ridiculous. What's the best thing about having sex with a fat man? My frustration grew as the months went on, and one day I confronted him.
Otherwise, I might still be trying to prove to him that I was worth any shit he might have gotten from other people. A fat body can but does not always imply laziness, short-sightedness, and a kind of disregard for one's holistic well-being. You can't abuse your body and expect your mind to fire on all cylinders. Much like how women do not want to date a man shorter than them, men don't want to date women who weigh more than them. But while that's true, all of the fat women in my life have at least explaining to them that they could never date because of her fatness.
I found him sexy thin, I find him sexy fat. I just love having sex with a body that is so uniquely adaptable and his. Then I started wondering if other people I knew felt the same way about having sex with fat men as those women at the bar. He not only had an amazing body but a great personality as well. He did me a favor by not continuing to lead me on.