Even soulmates have issues, problems and the realities of life. I can tell you understand. I can tell you this, I was ready to leave my wife because she deserves someone who will make her happy good luck next guy in line, I don't think it's possible and she needs someone she can trust. First day I was packing he said why are you doing that now. Everyday I tell myself I am a good wife, mother, friend, sister and I deserve to be loved back.
The other man supported me in this and we ended things. He tells me that he loves me, and asks if I am in love with him, and said that he knows that I am. I don't want to be mistaken by lust and love. We have come to the conclusion that you only live once and we are not going to waste it in loveless, sexless, romanceless marriages because that is what society says to do. It sounds like you could care less about your husband.
Co-dependency is affecting most of America nowadays, because of the way we are being raised by one parent, or absentee parents, this is why you feel so alone. She has told me she loves him. Just ended an affair with a married man and I am married myself. Well, we've kind of proved them wrong in a sense. If you have a husband that is all the things you said, what is it you see in this guy? I am John for all intent and purpose.
I know if he looks in the mirror he too will see the ugly side of what he did. If he wanted to he would have filed for divorce within a week of meeting you. I can see, now that this is a situation that I have to get out of. As women, that is not so easy for us 2 do. He's completely embarassed that his son found you two together.
Don't beat yourself up too much. Its a protective mechanism, giving us a warning. I just think you need to take a second look at your husband as he sounds like such a good guy. After 10 years of living less than an hour apart and talking only once or twice a year, he emailed me one night. So, what can you offer her now to help her besides cutting her down? Like u, I would question every time I sent this guy an email-even though he agreed to ending it slowly. But I agree that you should tell him no more than he wants to know. I feel like he chose money over true love.
A woman desires a guy to rescue her,and be the answer to her needs. I have come to understand that they were talking for a few months prior to actually having a physical relationship. Does your husband really know? Married love, unlike an affair, has an ebb and flow. Next, I think you need to spend some time without being in a relationship at all so you can get some clarity back and find out exactly what you want out of a relationship. I need to accept it was great but now its over.
What will help is not having contact. This is because it is of great benefit to his ego to hurt people. Do your best to avoid conversations like this, and to keep a level head when he does catch you off guard with his stories. I could count on on both hands the number of times he's told me he loves me in 10 years time! I expected to feel happy like payback or sweet revenge. Now I feel almost like I'm square one, not quite as bad but enough to distract me. What bothers me,is that all his memories of her are of good times, fun times and perfect times.
I will write more -running out of space here. What is my next step? I am back with my husband but and in may this man appeared again saying he loved me. And she can't understand why his is so intoxicated by the affair partner. He says it's been hard for him because he still loves me and thinks of me every day. You live without conviction and are swept away by your emotions. I feel badly for her, for anyone, that loses that spark. I agree with everything you said here.